F5

Things are different. Without being aware of the changing things have changed. I think I know who I want to be, or better said, I know who I have to be. I need an end game, an actual plan, because things are different. If I fail and fall I wont be the only one with bruises, maybe I can convince myself that mediocrity isn't too bad, but it's not just about me anymore. It really shouldn't come as a surprise, knew it would happen... but then why am I still trying to figure this out? I'll figure it out. Eventually. Been focusing more on drawing. The illustrator game, I don't really think it's the ticket out of the hole I've dug myself but its probably the only ticket I have. Unless the lotto ticket in my pocket is worth anything ;)

I drew the first guy on the left for an idea I have for what the new website will look like...wasn't entirely convinced so I kept making more. Stopped at 4, posted them up on my Facebook page to be voted on. Number 3 won! ...which is great...but I'm still not 100% sure haha. Here are some sketches and such I've done, I apologize for the instagram filters haha, seems to be the only way/reason I document things lately.. that needs to change.

Doing this through a phone app, don't know how it'll actually look like in the end. Trying to limit how much time I waste being a zombie in front of laptop and actually get work done!! @#&##%&!! And on that note... gotta get making some lines. Rebuild one line at a time. Hrmmm kinda makes me sound like a coke fiend.

what day is it?

crossing days off the calendar, moving forwards towards the next day and the next, each bearing great resemblance to the previous. marked by moments of enlightenment and desire to DO this and CHANGE that and then just like that these feelings of euphoria are gone in an instant and we are back to the regular rhythm of life. but hey, lets focus on the exciting moments why don't we?

in June i will have a new address. i will have a new neighborhood. a new route. new view from my window. this is exciting, this is frightening, as milestones in life always are.

on THAT note... i don't really want to move with any large pieces of art i have kicking around, don't want to deal with the annoyance of storage etc etc.. so i figure i will drop prices and try to move as much stuff as i can! make more space in the moving truck and add a few bucks to my pocket! win win!

also on a similar note, i am working on re-doing the website. new feel. new art. new direction. same awesomeness and assortment of skulls and junk!

been drawing random stuff. found a new kind of "paper" at the art store the other day. its got the wheels in my head turning. ♫ A Daaangerous Past time, I know! ♪ before i pack up the PC and my pens i hope to get the site up and running and have the shop doing its thing! will be sure to keep you all in the loop. though of course if you have not already done so... pls LIKE my Facebook page. its just easier to holla at y'all!

back and forth

this past week has been all over the place; good news, bad news... neutral news that really just becomes an irritating "maybe" in life, and everything in between. i have made so many lists in my little notebook you'd think i was printing receipts. does that make sense?

anyways so i put down some lines to add to the underlayer of this very blue piece i had started up some time ago. through it in a frame (broke one sheet of glass in the process) and called it a day. i like it, its pretty OK, but its not different enough. its still very much in the same place the others came from.

detail shot. many details are still lost in the shot, all in all though there is more drawing than usual. also switching back to pens n such instead of nibs and bottles of ink allowed for quicker easier lining.

no need/desire to go into details but past events have really got me thinking that i need to push. like, really push. not just in regards to effort and hours but also a need to push in a different direction.

my brother would always say "your paintings suck! you should just draw mor

e!" it was always about the drawing, its what came naturally... the work that came out these past years was always rooted in the attempt to combine paint/abstract with the lines that i have always known... maybe its time to put that experiment to rest. it was

fun while it lasted, got some good hype, learned a few things. in the end i feel that i came to depend on the same style and process for too long. like a shark i need to keep

swimming forwards in order to avoid sinking.

just keep swimming. keep swimming.

on a side note, my dog Chester has started classes. if you know me and have met this beast you would know he is not what you would call a well-behaved dog. hes loveable to the max but also loud and ka-razy! so far things have been going very well and i am so excited for the day he can run around freely at the dog park. i will be in tears! kid you not!