putting off epiphanies

blowing the dust off my thoughts, surveying the multiple boxes of words and ideas with no place to go and as such remain boxed up in storage... is it a matter of TIME? need i be patient and wait for my half-empty cup to fill? to runeth over? i don't know. everything keeps getting put off, life getting in the way of life. pointless hobbies and unnecessary sleeping devouring any available time i have. time not spent in front of a screen assisting others live their lives, the 8 hours wasted to make someone else's dream come true while mine is put on hold. when is it going to be MY turn? when will the world stand still, the ball stop, the dart fly and land on my name?

it feels like the internet is trying to tell me something. various images popping up on my FB newsfeed from various friends feeling so specifically directed at me, when in fact they are posted by friends that find themselves in the same hole as i, and as such they speak to them... well at least i am not alone.

the internet is simply loaded with these images! different voices saying the same thing. DO IT! just get off your ass and fucking do it! there is no reason why you can't be happy. no reason why you cannot achieve your dreams but first you have to go for it. take aim. fire.

we are all so unhappy at times with the same routine life but continue to do so because well, there is no other option. bills need to be paid. food needs to be put on the table and no money does not grow on trees... and even if it did it would requires lots of work and maintenance i'm sure! heck i cant even keep these little potted herbs from dying!

you are what you want to be. life is what you make of it. if theres a voice in the back of your head telling you to make time for your passion, to not forget what truly makes you happy.. well.. you should listen to it. 

i know i sure as hell need to.

need to clear my desk of all this clutter and junk and lay down some crisp white emptiness on which to free myself. 

yea....

well what else can i tell you? i have been living with the gf for just over a month now. its very awesome. i am very happy. now if only i can get art going i would be a COMPLETE person... and hopefully that wont lead to some scale being unbalanced and horrible shit happening haha.. that would suck.. well, goodnight!

back and forth

this past week has been all over the place; good news, bad news... neutral news that really just becomes an irritating "maybe" in life, and everything in between. i have made so many lists in my little notebook you'd think i was printing receipts. does that make sense?

anyways so i put down some lines to add to the underlayer of this very blue piece i had started up some time ago. through it in a frame (broke one sheet of glass in the process) and called it a day. i like it, its pretty OK, but its not different enough. its still very much in the same place the others came from.

detail shot. many details are still lost in the shot, all in all though there is more drawing than usual. also switching back to pens n such instead of nibs and bottles of ink allowed for quicker easier lining.

no need/desire to go into details but past events have really got me thinking that i need to push. like, really push. not just in regards to effort and hours but also a need to push in a different direction.

my brother would always say "your paintings suck! you should just draw mor

e!" it was always about the drawing, its what came naturally... the work that came out these past years was always rooted in the attempt to combine paint/abstract with the lines that i have always known... maybe its time to put that experiment to rest. it was

fun while it lasted, got some good hype, learned a few things. in the end i feel that i came to depend on the same style and process for too long. like a shark i need to keep

swimming forwards in order to avoid sinking.

just keep swimming. keep swimming.

on a side note, my dog Chester has started classes. if you know me and have met this beast you would know he is not what you would call a well-behaved dog. hes loveable to the max but also loud and ka-razy! so far things have been going very well and i am so excited for the day he can run around freely at the dog park. i will be in tears! kid you not!