putting off epiphanies

blowing the dust off my thoughts, surveying the multiple boxes of words and ideas with no place to go and as such remain boxed up in storage... is it a matter of TIME? need i be patient and wait for my half-empty cup to fill? to runeth over? i don't know. everything keeps getting put off, life getting in the way of life. pointless hobbies and unnecessary sleeping devouring any available time i have. time not spent in front of a screen assisting others live their lives, the 8 hours wasted to make someone else's dream come true while mine is put on hold. when is it going to be MY turn? when will the world stand still, the ball stop, the dart fly and land on my name?

it feels like the internet is trying to tell me something. various images popping up on my FB newsfeed from various friends feeling so specifically directed at me, when in fact they are posted by friends that find themselves in the same hole as i, and as such they speak to them... well at least i am not alone.

the internet is simply loaded with these images! different voices saying the same thing. DO IT! just get off your ass and fucking do it! there is no reason why you can't be happy. no reason why you cannot achieve your dreams but first you have to go for it. take aim. fire.

we are all so unhappy at times with the same routine life but continue to do so because well, there is no other option. bills need to be paid. food needs to be put on the table and no money does not grow on trees... and even if it did it would requires lots of work and maintenance i'm sure! heck i cant even keep these little potted herbs from dying!

you are what you want to be. life is what you make of it. if theres a voice in the back of your head telling you to make time for your passion, to not forget what truly makes you happy.. well.. you should listen to it. 

i know i sure as hell need to.

need to clear my desk of all this clutter and junk and lay down some crisp white emptiness on which to free myself. 

yea....

well what else can i tell you? i have been living with the gf for just over a month now. its very awesome. i am very happy. now if only i can get art going i would be a COMPLETE person... and hopefully that wont lead to some scale being unbalanced and horrible shit happening haha.. that would suck.. well, goodnight!

hopefully it does not rain on Monday

hey,

so, today i woke at my usual bright and early 11am, rolled out of bed and stumbled over to the old computer to see what had transpired the night before. to my surprise a date had been set for the RAPTURE without me knowing. not that i feel im so special that i should have been notified about JUDGMENT DAY or anything of the sort but i did feel that it was something i too should have clued in on... as i was one of the few people on facebook with this knowledge.

if you are reading this the whole RAPTURE thing fell through and plans were changed and we are still kicking around on this dirt planet, or perhaps you were left behind or something, i am not sure how it works.

all jokes aside, this, in combination with the fact that my girlfriend's sister is leaving for an undisclosed amount of time to another Province got me thinking about goodbyes.

we close doors, we turn our backs and walk away, we hang up phones... there are so many moments in a day when we bid farewell to another, and allow them to exit stage left till the next scene. we have all come to understand the world in such a way that we know the other person exists even though we are not in contact with them. we know this as a fact. although it is not something we question so much anymore in this day and time perhaps we should. this is where the RAPTURE comes in to my thoughts.

what if? ( very powerful words )

what if that which has been foretold did happen? by no means is this leading to a religious debate, but i mean what if that something which you never expected to actually happen happened? it doesn't have to be something insanely huge as the end of days... everyday we walk away from loved ones knowing we will see them again, taking for granted their companionship, their very existence. but the truth is we don't know when the next time will be. as mundane as the world may seem there are always an insane number of choices made with a practically infinite number of possible outcomes! if everything can happen how can we live life so calmly being so sure of things? now, lets not be morbid; i am not saying that we should be cautious because people die left and right and you never know. death is only one of the doors in the long hallway that is life. we change our minds everyday, and as such change our futures. life is change. tomorrow is completely unknown! and thats not a scary thing... i mean it is but.... its exciting too!

we should stop treating each other so shitty. somehow that is the conclusion to my rant.

anyways since most peeps don't wander onto my blog to read my crazy rants, here are some pictures.

first off here are some drawings in lil book. fun times.

here we have full images of new work i had been teasing about earlier. unfortunately i took a super long time to upload them. few of them have already sold. check out Galerie D'Este to see what they still have available if you is interested ;)

let's see... what else can i ramble on about?

overall things are swell. trying not to gain too much weight from the lovely girlfriend's lovely baking. watching some Avenger's Earth Mightiest Heroes. good cartoon action.

saw Thor the other day it was good.

peace out. xo

time machine-o

greetings!

soon to be seasons greetings i suppose, though really i do not know what that means. but anyways... the other day i was at SLEEPINGGIANTGALLERY at the reception for Different Strokes for Different Folks, i was talking with fellow artists Jacob Hughes and Mark Burnham. for obvious reasons the conversation turned to age, to the fact that Jacob was 17, Mark 32 and myself 24. three different generations in the same place at the same time. which got me thinking about what i was up to at 17, because sometimes to get a better idea of what the future holds one has to look into the past.
after taking a trip back in time in my amazing time machine i came to realize that although much has changed much has remained the same. many themes and subjects have stayed with me through the years. the more evident ones are as follow; figures, teeth, angel wings, outlines, white figures, superheroes, muscles, distortion of said figures, and darkness. haha looking at this short list i can't help but feel like i should have many more issues than i do (i got none baby!).

at the moment i don't care enough to dig up pre-highschool images so we wil make do with these:

these two images here are from gr.11. it was the first time having to create a "series" of work. for whatever reason my series was on phobias. above we have fear of public speaking and below we have fear of being alone. its pretty crazy looking back into old sketchbooks. i had "meanings" and "reasons" for every element in the paintings. haha and as much as they suggested i avoid outlining things.... i clearly couldn't help myself.

these two here are from a much longer series that came up from a strange dream and metaphors class i had in... first year at OCAD i believe. so i was... 19? i really liked these and stuck with them for a bit. the first one came before OCAD i think, while i was messing with some paint in trying to be a "rougher" painting... i think thats where the buildings came about. the one above here is actually the first piece i ever had in a showed outside of a classroom. it was for a square foot show. which was really open to anyone but it still made me feel very special. especially when i saw that little red dot on the wall beside it haha. good times.

ok so now we come to the present. which all began with much smaller ink on paper drawings in a 4th year class with Ed Pien. the idea was to challenge ourselves by working like one of the artists he showed us slideshows of. i think i actually went with Ed's approach to some of his works which was to begin with a random stroke of ink on the empty paper and draw from it and with it. my first reactions was to draw from inkblots but to draw superheroes. so i had a batman here, a superman there. Ed saw potential in it and told me to keep trying but to not use copyrighted images that the world recognize as such. which led to small random images which ithen decided would be fractions of stories, as they were based on random titles i pulled from books. eventually i tried out mylar as it would allow me to use layers much like i do in Photoshop. time passed... and here we are. the image above is actually one of the first mylar pieces that i regarded as a success. it remains one of my favorites and is the image on my business cards! the image below is much more recent and is currently in a juried show at StationGallery in Whitby.
the current series is doing pretty awesome for me. people seem to like it. which of course is all i can ask for haha. but as any good artist knows, i can keep doing the same thing for only so long. already its begun to evolve in leaps and bounds, at this point i can only guess where i will go. as much as i hate it... i think the plan is to go BIGGER!

smiles and snares

its amazing how i have gone from fighting the urge to blog blog blog to worrying that my blogger account thing will be shutdown due to inactivity. i suppose i have been busy. as of late much of my time has been taken up by art-making, art-showing, and being a full-time boyfriend. which has lead me to discover that without my art and without my loved ones.... i am nothing.

good or bad? only time will tell.

anywho. i was participating in a big art festival shindig. gaggles of art lovers and peeps alike. monies aside, its the reactions that i will always hold dear.
i was treated to people that would stop and take in the work, taking the time to come as close to the work as i would hope, smiling at me and walking away. some would stop to chat, ask questions, deliver kudos and words of approval. then there were the individuals that would glance over as one would their side mirror while driving. some would walk up to my wall and walk out without pausing. and of course, there were the ones that would make faces that i could only read as disapproval, often accompanied by words out of my reach amongst themselves. fortunately i have evolved to the point of being able to find satisfaction in such dissatisfying moments. more importantly there was a small blonde child that exclaimed to his mother "these are amazing!" after that, i was untouchable.

i have given much thought lately as to what kind of artist i am. who do i cater to? who's approval do i seek? who's opinion really matters? though i don't actually have answers to those questions i have come to realize that i can't be an artist who demands a particular environment for their work. i understand that serious work requires serious presentation... but after thinking about it i have concluded that in my heart art is for everyone. although not everyone can afford to own a piece (i do need to eat) the pictures need be accessible to everyone. and lets face it, not everyone is going to stroll into a pristine white-walled gallery.

art is for the people. i should do murals or something. yes that would be awesome.

here is a random drawing i coloured today. i am not much for backgrounds.

spare change

by no stretch of the imagination am i an individual that understands the state of the economy. i've heard many words slung around, words that years of books and movies have taught me to understand as bad things. it would appear that the world... or at least the parts of it that seem to affect me.. is fast approaching a recession... thats if we are not already "there".
jobs are being lost left and right, thankfully it has yet to hit home. parents aren't feeling any backlash at work, and my brother has actually started working again. all is fine for them, and for my close friends etc... well, im not doing too hot.

economy aside i am horrible at the job of job-hunting. i seem to be qualified for nothing. that is unless "excessive imagination and short attention span" are sought after resume traits, oh and lets not forget my terrible sleeping pattern.

all in all i am fated the life of an artist, which is great... until i came to the conclusion that people probably don't want to buy art when they may lose their job in the days to come.
i did some googling to see if my "conclusion" was valid... and the results were surprising.

from the few sites i visited i learned that this recession is a good thing for art... sorta.
art, good art, is a good investment. simple. people realize this and are expected to act on it. the art that isn't so good on the other hand... will crumble away. so from what i have pieced together... the recession will strengthen the art world, cut away at the useless and help restore ART as something to be applauded, opposed to a saturday night hobby.

with 2 shows in March fast approaching and with bills piling up... i can't help but worry. will i survive this... cleansing? if all goes well i will sell fair amounts of work and still be able to order a few things off amazon. if things don't go so well... if the see-saw that is my wallet brings me nothing but frustration... well... mcdonalds is always hiring right?