putting off epiphanies

blowing the dust off my thoughts, surveying the multiple boxes of words and ideas with no place to go and as such remain boxed up in storage... is it a matter of TIME? need i be patient and wait for my half-empty cup to fill? to runeth over? i don't know. everything keeps getting put off, life getting in the way of life. pointless hobbies and unnecessary sleeping devouring any available time i have. time not spent in front of a screen assisting others live their lives, the 8 hours wasted to make someone else's dream come true while mine is put on hold. when is it going to be MY turn? when will the world stand still, the ball stop, the dart fly and land on my name?

it feels like the internet is trying to tell me something. various images popping up on my FB newsfeed from various friends feeling so specifically directed at me, when in fact they are posted by friends that find themselves in the same hole as i, and as such they speak to them... well at least i am not alone.

the internet is simply loaded with these images! different voices saying the same thing. DO IT! just get off your ass and fucking do it! there is no reason why you can't be happy. no reason why you cannot achieve your dreams but first you have to go for it. take aim. fire.

we are all so unhappy at times with the same routine life but continue to do so because well, there is no other option. bills need to be paid. food needs to be put on the table and no money does not grow on trees... and even if it did it would requires lots of work and maintenance i'm sure! heck i cant even keep these little potted herbs from dying!

you are what you want to be. life is what you make of it. if theres a voice in the back of your head telling you to make time for your passion, to not forget what truly makes you happy.. well.. you should listen to it. 

i know i sure as hell need to.

need to clear my desk of all this clutter and junk and lay down some crisp white emptiness on which to free myself. 

yea....

well what else can i tell you? i have been living with the gf for just over a month now. its very awesome. i am very happy. now if only i can get art going i would be a COMPLETE person... and hopefully that wont lead to some scale being unbalanced and horrible shit happening haha.. that would suck.. well, goodnight!

black and white and hurting wrists.

i have been drawing. which in my case is another way of saying that i have been thinking.

and oh how the wheels in my head have been turning! ( a dangerous pastime) i know! now i have gone and derailed my train of thoughts... so i will grow a new one.... i have been sleeping on the floor lately as i have turned my bed into another table to allow for producing more and larger work in regards and preparation for the upcoming (eventual) solo show. the solo show which initially was to showcase my series of ink/mylar pieces may become something else now... i have been thinking much about it and about my work in general and have decided that it would be wrong for me to have my other "side" sitting on the bench while the inks score amazing slam dunks for the team. as such the idea of having a..... dual show of sorts springs to mind. a show featuring me and myself. larger inks exploding with colour and abstract elements alongside smaller, tighter pen drawings of skulls with birds and madnesses.... know what i mean guvernah?

solo show aside... i have been reading more, which is another way of saying that i have been absorbing more. which has led to the reigniting of my desire to be publish in every way possible. i have been writing stories... well... novels... well... really they are chapters.. single chapters from books that i will never write. just a random chunk of something more. no ending or end. just a part of a story arch that will never see the light of day. i wish to publish a book of these. but then... why not add art to this book? poetry too! oh man!!!

i have begun a comic... again. the difference is that this one isn't being overthought. it doesn't have to be because it will be including much of other comic ideas that never left the foodcourt. it will be funny, random, superhero action, ironic, silly, amazing... really everything i want to do just mushed into one long story that currently has no real ending. it should be good. really.

i am losing focus as i type as i am unravelling everything i am mentioning in my thin-skulled head. i will leave you with some drawings. such are the drawings i wish to include in solo show. such is the style of art the amazing fantastic mystical comic will be in... because this is how i draw now. and it makes me happy.

on another note... my lil brother's birthday is coming up. no clue what to get him! what do you get someone that has money you dont... who is terribly impulsive and unpredictable at times... what do you get someone who in your mind deserves the best of everything this world has to offer?.... stupid kid.... i'll just get him a gift certificate haha... or something.