Thursday, May 16, 2013

bring me back a souvenir.

What will be, will be, as it has already been. You have already made every possible decision you will and can ever make, your paths are etched into stone, you just don't realize it.
What if dreams are not a dream-scape, or messages in metaphor from the future, or crazy stories your imagination decides to tell you to keep you entertained; what if they are actually memories of different paths you have taken.

Where are you going with this hugo? Where is this all coming from?

Well, this morning I was pulled out of the dream by my dog wanting to go outside... but the dream he tore me out from what a linked dream; a spinoff of some kind. How often do we have dreams that we desperately try to take something from, a souvenir. Sometimes an object, something we have been missing, looking for, maybe its money or a fantastical device. Sometimes we awaken and all we want is to remember a face, a number, a name. I know its an irrational and romantic notion that one can actually meet someone in a dream... but hey, I am an irrational, romantic person.

As I was saying; the dream that my overzealous terrier woke me from was mainly based on my wanting to remember a name from the previous dream. I'm quite the lucid dreamer, and in this dream I was "aware" that I was dreaming, so when I met this other woman I knew that I was engaged and that this was not that woman, which was then explained to me in the dream that it was a different reality, a different choice was made. Evidently I had known her since elementary school and we had stayed close since. Awake and completely conscious I can honestly say I have lost contact with everyone I have known since then, so who knows.   Anyways, in the dream to follow I was obsessed with finding out who it was.

Now this is where things get complicated, I woke up, fell back asleep, maybe for the 3rd time while all this was going on; and this time we were all planning a party of some kind. A trip. I had a bunch of family in a house I did not recognize trying to plan an elaborate family vacation. For whatever reason my brothers and I left the house because we needed to get masks, we went into the store just down the street and looked through what little they had for costumes. It was a very limited selection, because evidently Halloween was that very night (oddly enough I have many dreams around this concept).      As I walk out of this shop, empty handed, I notice who I think is the girl from the previous previous dream enter the shop beside this one. This place was much fancier, trinkets and such. I wonder what I can say to her, how should I not sound crazy... in the dream from way back we already knew each other, this time I was a stranger but apparently still had memories of trying to find her from that previous dream. In the end I don`t go up to her at all, as I am distracted by a little cupcake charm, reminding me of my wife, and sending me back home.

I rush back home, different house now. Unknown people answer the door, there is a party, there is my wife (or fiance in reality), throwing a piece of chocolate cake in the air, failing to catch it in her mouth... apparently this is the game thats going on. She is wearing a very pretty dress, a light teal, she has a hat on with feathers, there is something odd, something off about her that I don`t realize until after, or maybe its just so frightening at this stage in my life that I do not want to think about it. She says hi, light kiss and a hug that only she can give. Shortly after I wake up. Realizing that my 2nd alarm went off about half-hour ago and I should get moving. As I lay there in bed trying to piece together the fading memories, I conclude to myself that everything is real. That everything we dream of is real.... but just not in this reality. Just not in this chain of choices.

Does this apply to crazy-ass dreams where you can fly and you fight ninjas?
Yes. Especially.

I don't really have a purpose for posting this. Its not leading up to anything. Really I am just jotting down ideas before, like the dream, they fade away.

Hope you are all doing well. Gosh I need to start posting more! Maybe I should sleep less.