it has been said that silence is golden. though i would argue that it isn't. due to the fact that it is actually much more difficult to find. i would argue that at one point in time silence would have been considered the norm... then again i would argue that sound is relative and a matter of perception in which case silence is not "real". but thats another story....
children are brought up to be quiet at certain times, they are raised in a way that makes them dependent on silence in order to fall asleep or to concentrate on a difficult task. this just doesn't make sense to me. noise is nature. where there is life there is chaos, there is disruption, there is action there is noise. in which case silence is the constructed of the two. we build homes and insulate windows to keep out noise "pollution" so that we can "relax". though i probably agree with that more than i would care to admit i think its stupid. stupid to think that because we cannot hear it it does not exist. much like changing the channel because the scenes of death and destruction are to real to take in, instead choosing to watch something else... escaping the reality of the world, washing one's hands clean of whatever riot or war may be taking place are codes away.
to shush someone, to hold up your finger and say shh is to say no. to say no what you are saying is not important, what you have to say doesn't matter. instead listen, instead witness and stand there quietly.
there are too many sounds, too many voices, too many words that will go without an audience. if a tree falls in the forest but no one is around to hear it... does anybody care?
i don't have a point. i'm just talking. just typing.
father's day recently passed. made me think of all the year, if not years, that i made my father a father's day card depicting the generic father figure with a white shirt and tie etc... my father has never worn a tie to work in his life. i'm sure he is not the only one. its weird. i wonder what used to go through his head. there i was... early elementary school years... looking up at him handing him a card with a tie cut out of wallpaper or something.... in the end i doubt he cared, he always seems proud and impressed by whatever artistic feats i accomplish, whether he he can relate or not. haha i have pounds upon pounds of bags and boxes loaded with virtually every scrap of paper i ever scribbled on.
thinking of my odd, great, weird, bizzare, amazing, better-than-your-dad dad i can't help but think of other sons and daughters. of other dads. of relationships that aren't as smooth as the one i have with my father. of dads that have passed, that are absent because their time with us has run out... and then my thinking stops. it stops because to keep meditating on the subject i have to imagine my own life without my father, and thats something i will never be able to do.
my heart goes out to everyone who has only memories and stories to which to hand a hallmark card to. it must suck. but thats life, life sucks. haha no thats not it. life is complicated. life is beyond our grasp. i will always believe that things happen for a reason, because if it wasn't true then nothing would make sense.... there are no accidents. not to say that we are ruled by fate. but to say that we cannot control everything. theres always another game in play. nothing ever ends. everything that exists will forever exist... in one way, in one form or another we're all still in this together.
this blog entry makes little sense.
i leave you with an x-ray of my pop's neck and a drawing.